It’s Sunday December 16th a little after 4am when I’ve started writing this. Aurora is still sleeping, Adam is sleeping, the dogs are sleeping and the rest of the volunteers who live on site are sleeping. There are a few roosters stirring, but it’s noticeably quiet right now and it feels like the first time I’ve had deep quiet in a few days.
Quiet to me feels like no one needing my energy, there’s nowhere I have to be, I’m writing and it feels almost like I’m floating peacefully in space. In my consciousness, it’s like I’m decluttering internally and picking up clothes on the floor and putting things away that have been left out, and just generally cleaning up before I start the day of being me. Quiet feels good.
So thank you today for this time already, it feels soft and regenerative, and I’m receiving it.
I’m noticing that my writing has taken an enormous shift over the last few weeks, and it’s right alongside Aurora learning to stand up & crawl, so she’s more active, which means I’m with her. Now my writing is a quiet 20 minutes here or there, which means a story is unfolding over a few days, and I’m learning to be ok with that and still feel like I’m “on track.”
So what is being "on track" mean to me? And what is this writing thing I’ve doing over 86 days?
It’s looking like it's me healing my life story. Through writing, I'm healing, transmuting & sharing my stories, and sure it’s for me mainly, just to make sense of it all, but perhaps it's also to introduce someone to my life what & who have shaped me. Because I think we’re all getting shaped by our experiences, whether we realize it or not. And the energetic undercurrents of my life is how I’ve become me; and also why I attracted a lot of the circumstances, scenarios & people to the continue the shaping of me. And owning, writing and organizing my journey and taking responsibility for my stories, is profoundly healing and cathartic, which helps me soften. And when I’m soft I can be available to feel & transmit joy and light.
So anyway, I’m calling more of me (and my power) back to myself in this writing. And that’s a wonderful gift for both Aurora and Adam (and everyone around me).
I had that ah ha this morning.
Now I’m off for day 3 of my Reiki training, and that’s where this picture is from.