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Day 70: how a maybe got into my life

I shared in day 66 about the smaller decisions, activities and actions that were part of my quiet growth from the end of 2011 through 2012. So between my solo travels, the increase in yoga and my various self healing workshops and retreats, I was out exploring different expressions of myself. And it felt like I was heading towards something new, but I didn’t necessarily know what. But I was announcing to the universe that I was ready for some magic in my life. And every aspect of my life really began to reflect some new degree of that energy, except for my love life. And my love life’s name during that time was K****. K**** was the first guy in a long time that I met naturally, not online. I knew him because I’d known his brother for several years, so when K**** visited my business December of 2011 pedaling payroll services, I let him in the door when usually I’d just say I wasn’t interested. K**** was handsome, friendly and a little flirty with me in our initial business encounter, which felt refreshing and interesting. So I sat with K**** and let him woo me with attractive payroll numbers and I heard myself ask for a future face to face explanation of the payroll transition steps. This very well could have been done over the phone or email, but I insisted we have another sit down, and I suggested a coffee shop by my house in Salt Lake City; was I making an excuse to spend time with this guy? Perhaps. I admit the energy between K**** felt easy because I already knew a lot of his friends, as many came to Align already, because he was living in Park City. I suggested we meet for tea in Salt Lake City before my 4:15pm yoga class on a Thursday, and when I rolled into the coffee shop wearing my Ugg boots, warm hoodie, yoga pants, scarf & winter hat, carrying my yoga mat, I saw his body language soften and receive me with excitement before we even said hello. Our conversation at the coffee shop that afternoon didn’t include a lot of payroll talk, but it did include life talk and he even asked if he could attend a yoga class with me sometime. Would that be considered a date then? Was he asking me out? I wasn’t entirely sure but I just kept hanging out with him using yoga as the moderator. And this yoga dance between us lasted through the Christmas holiday and into mid January. But on I’ve occasion, after I’d already switched payroll companies to work with K****, we set a time for a non yoga hangout. He’d invited me to go to a Monday night get together at his friends house in Park City, so I said yes and took a change of clothes with me to work so that I could go to my mom’s house to change and wait for him to pick me up.

This was my first full winter living in Salt Lake City, because I’d moved down to the city from Park City in March of 2011, after most of the crazy storms. And if there you we ever inclement weather, I’d just stay in the guest room at my mom’s house and be already close to my spa. But in late 2011 my mom got a roommate; so there was no more sleeping over or comfortable hang outs at her place because a random dude was there. So when I went to my mom’s house after work and changed into my cute outfit that communicated I could be on a date, I sat patiently on the couch in the front of her house staring out the window. I’d planned to have a smooth transition where I’d really only be at my mom’s for 15 minutes max before K**** would pick me up for the party. And I waited, and waited and waited, and he didn’t come. So I called him, and his phone rang, and rang, but his voicemail was full. I sent a few txt messages as well, to verify that it was the correct day and time, and it was. But still no sign of K****. After waiting over an hour, I said goodbye to my mom and headed back down the canyon to my house, generally worried that something had happened to K****. At around 11pm I got a call from a semi drunk K**** explaining that his buddy had showed up unexpectedly at his house early afternoon, and they had a few drinks that turned into a few more drinks, and then he’d passed out. He said he was sorry and wanted to try again, but I was not interested. He’d gotten wasted to the point of passing out on a Monday night? No thanks, no time for that in my life. So I let him know politely that I come from a family where alcoholism was a real thing, therefore I don’t enjoy heavy drinking. So I let him know it was best we just keep our hang outs to yoga and payroll stuff. I promptly hung up the phone not giving him a chance to respond, and I went to sleep.

The next day at my spa, not only did flowers arrive by delivery man, but in the card K**** said he’d be by the spa at 5:15pm, when I was headed home, to try and ask me out again. It was a chivalrous and clever clean up job; and I liked it. I found myself a little nervous as 5 o'clock rolled around, and I reapplied my lipgloss and looked at myself in the Spa’s hallway mirror adjusting my scarf and beanie on my head so that I looked relaxed. Why was I so nervous? Maybe because this was the most romantic gesture I’d gotten from a man in what I could remember, and it made me feel wanted. All my staff had of course gotten the story of why I’d received flowers at work and why I was hanging around the front lobby anxiously at 5:14. Then I saw a dark grey sports car go past the large front spa window and park, and out jumped K****, in khaki pants, a fancy pressed collared shirt, with brown hair that has been styled, and he was wearing a leather jacket. K**** looked hot. He opened the spa door and walked right towards me grinning with his arms outstretched. Was he coming in for a hug in front of several of my spa staff and a client? Yes. And he held me long enough that I got a little awkward and jerked away. Everyone knew who he was and what was happening so I was a little embarrassed. It could have been an intimidating scene, but K**** handled it like a champ. It made me smile and soften; so I agreed to a second first date with him. He then gave me a long enough hug that I got a deep breath of him and I noticed a hint of musky cologne that I could tell he’d recently put on for me; and it was nice. As he was leaving, he asked when the next yoga class was, and I said “tonight at 8:45pm.” Well maybe you’ll see me there” and he winked, walked out the door, and turned around a few steps away and smiled. The scene felt straight out of a movie; and it was well played by K****. Before I saw him I didn’t think I’d give him another chance to go out with me, but his grand gesture of flowers and a drop in visit was both bold and sexy. Both qualifies I liked in a man. I’d been to 2 evening yoga classes so far with K**** so he knew what time I left my house to walk the short distance over. He also knew the route I took. So when I left my house at 8:25pm to walk over and hadn’t seen him, I figured he wasn’t coming. But along my walk a familiar sports car pulled up beside me and K**** rolled down his window and said, “want a lift to yoga?” Again, well played. After class he drove me home and when I got out of the car and said good night, he got out, walked me to my door and came in for a kiss. Wow, were we there already? I gave him a little kiss, said thanks for joining me and closed the door. I still didn’t know how I felt about this connection. It wasn’t a strong yes and it wasn’t a strong no. So I didn’t know what to do with a strong maybe. I’d have to wait and see and give maybe a chance. Namaste

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