It’s our 5 year wedding anniversary today and our family just left the city of Escazu, Costa Rica and we’re headed to the mountains of Monteverde. We woke up at a bed n breakfast here in Escazu and this morning from about 4:30am to 7am, I hand wrote a love letter to Adam and rewrote my wedding vows to him.
I don’t know when most brides write their wedding vows, but when I sat down and wrote mine a day or two before our ceremony on September 14, 2013, I was so sick from having Dengue Fever that I could barely see straight and all I wanted to do was sleep, because my whole body ached. I wanted my vow creation to be meaningful and beautiful, but in all honesty I just wanted to get it done because I felt so shitty.
Now 5 years later, the vows mean entirely different things to me and I’m able to be more specific about them and more accountable for how I’ve shown up over the last 5 years.
My vows are these...
To know and trust that Adam is on my team and our family unit is its own team
To put us first
To seek understanding if I’m confused
To be softer and gentler in every way
To prioritize our marriage and alone time
To listen for love
To be examples of love, trust, connection, forgiveness and fun for our daughter
To allow happy to be our default setting
To let love lead us as a family and as individuals
To be grateful
There are more specific ones in his letter, but these feel like more or what we want right now.
We also discussed an annual review of our marriage and life together. So tonight we’ll celebrate us and think about what we want in our life the next 12 months. Our goal is to root down to rise up. And to us, rooting down means building our house, tying up loose ends in our goals, me continuing to write, softening, us building our healing community and sinking into what we want this new space at the Lanktuary to be.
Adam and I have been so busy with the house, Aurora, our volunteers, the Sanctuary, our animals, yoga and our Utah business that we haven’t taken the time in a while to just sit together and talk about our feelings, what we want more of, or better yet, to be quiet together and just connect. Even being as close as we are, even we get caught in the wheel of busy, and then time goes by without a heart-felt check in, and we’re being run by our heads and not our hearts. And our experience of each other is very different when it’s rooted in the heart.
That heart space is where we met, that’s where we married from, and that’s the space we want to stay consciously rooted in, but it’s surprising how easy it is to get off course or diverted from a loving, balanced connection & interaction. So we’re committing to be better and more aware of each other.
So anyway, it feels nice to have an anniversary that’s not just a day, but a vacation with the intention of seeking, feeling and being in love again.
Cheers to that.
And I’m not sure where my story will pick up tomorrow. I’ll know when I sit down to write.
Ciao for now