Writing for Peace

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Day 95: the day my life changed

January 17, 2019

Day 94: Super Bowl week 2013

January 15, 2019

Day 93: learning the art of doing nothing

January 12, 2019

Day 92: Flashback to 1994

January 4, 2019

Day 91: New Years 2012

January 2, 2019

Day 90: Dear 2018 & 2019

December 29, 2018

Day 89: Meeting the Lanka’s

December 28, 2018

Day 88: Finding the alchemist

December 23, 2018

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January 17, 2019


We woke up in our hotel room February 4th 2014, the morning after the Super Bowl power outage and life felt different. Not different enough to really put a finger on, but different enough that it was eliciting different responses in my body. It started with a light heartedness and desire to cuddle Adam more so than usual, followed by me rolling out my yoga mat on the hotel room floor and just laying flat having an awareness of my breathing coming slowly in and out. I noticed that I felt insecure and my mind kept coming back to ideas that certainly weren’t helping me, such as all the reasons that Adam could stop loving me and why our relationship wouldn’t work. I heard my mind s...

January 15, 2019

By the end of January 2013 I felt much more confident and prepared for Adam’s second visit to see me in Utah. We were getting the hang of this back and forth thing between Utah and Costa Rica, so much that I even left a few favorite items of clothes at his place in Costa Rica when I left mid January, knowing I’d be back, though I wasn’t sure when yet.  Leaving some clothes and personal items at Adam’s house felt like I was setting an intention and reserving space for my next return.

Meanwhile in Utah it was the snowiest time of year, so we borrowed more clothes from my Match.com friend Justin, as well as ski clothes from another guy friend, so that Adam and I could experience Par...

January 12, 2019

It was an icy cold morning when I left my house in Salt Lake City in a taxi bound for the airport. It was going to be my second trip to Costa Rica and I was just beginning month 2 of my 5 month sabbatical to go seeking me. The difference in this Costa Rica trip vs the one a month prior was that this trip was just about me learning how to be with Adam and experimenting with having no schedule, no expectations and letting it be okay to have relaxing and doing nothing as my primary goals. I didn’t have anything I particularly needed to accomplish the next 10 days except exploring this new love with Adam, and that was enough. I felt nervous, excited and giddy with excitement all at...

January 4, 2019

As I've been writing I realized I left out big pieces, so the last few days I've been revisiting an important time in my life.  Waking up in the hospital after my car accident in April of 1994. And so we're going to revisit that. I don't have many pictures of my life from that time, so I'll choose a general one. 

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I could hear the voices off in the distance calling my name but I couldn’t respond; the voices kept getting louder and louder, almost to the point that it felt like screaming in my ears. It felt like my eyes were glued together and it took great effort to peel them open and I lifted my right hand up towards my eyes to give them...

January 2, 2019

As New Year’s Eve of 2012 was approaching I had some big questions circling around in my heart; do I lean in to this feeling of love I had for Adam or do I lean into my head and logic that told me falling for a younger guy who lived in another country was crazy.

There’s the well known saying out there, “be the change you wish to see in the world” that sounds cliche until you’re actually in a situation where you can either be the change or  not, and that felt like the choice I was in the middle of. The change I wanted to see in the world and in me was to experience more love on a daily basis; to see people choosing it in their attitudes towards themselves, towards each other and t...

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